Ragetti and Pintel
by Sus
Summary: Ragetti and Pintel have escaped from the brig of the Dauntless. Where will they go? What will they do? Not slash, set just after the events of the movie.
1. Rowing boats, cake and wooden eyes

//Okie dokies, since I got some positive feedback, I'm going to soldier ahead. I've added to and re-written some of the first chapter, so even if you read it before it might be good to give it a quick scan. Keep reading, and thank you!//  
  
The middle of the ocean. The sea is calm and blue like the sky. There is nothing to mar the tranquility, until suddenly -   
  
A rowing boat angrily splashed its way across the surface. It was being propelled by the violent strokes of a short bearded man, bald on top but with straggly long hair. Sitting in the stern was a taller, gaunt looking individual with a messy pudding bowl haircut and a patchy attempt at a moustache. He had only one eye, and sported a wooden replacement which seemed to give him some discomfort, as he rubbed it frequently. Clad in filthy rags, both had the distinct look of the pirate about them.  
  
"I told you, stop rubbin' it!" said the bald pirate.  
  
"Sorry Pintel, but it itches me bad." replied his companion mournfully.  
  
"You'll only 'urt yourself, and then were will we be?"  
  
The skinny pirate appeared to give this some thought.   
  
"Where are we now?" he asked after some perplexing seconds.  
  
The one named Pintel seemed exasperated by the question.  
  
"I don't know, do I?"  
  
"How long 'ave we been rowing for?"  
  
"Long enough f'rit to be your turn again!" said Pintel, standing up and causing the boat to rock.  
  
There were a few precarious moments as the two pirates tried to swap places, but eventually the taller was safely seated and the rowing commenced.   
  
They lapsed back into silence.  
  
"Pintel?" said the other finally.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"'Ow did you know about that loose bar? And that this boat wouldn't have no-one guardin' it?"  
  
"Ask no questions, Ragetti matey, and you'll be told no lies."  
  
Ragetti gave a short laugh and looked down. Pintel looked at him pityingly.  
  
"You, old mate," he said "are not of the thinkin' persuasion. You'd best leave that sort of fing to me."  
  
Ragetti nodded forcefully, still looking down. His lips moved as if he was muttering to himself. Again there was silence.  
  
"S'funny, isn't it." said Ragetti after a while.  
  
"What is?"   
  
"Bein' hungry."  
  
"Oh, bloody hilarious." said Pintel.  
  
"I just mean, after so long an' all." Ragetti looked thoughtful. "What you going to eat first, I mean, when we gets ashore?"  
  
Pintel sighed, but thought about the question just the same.   
  
"Steak'd be a favourite. Rare, like, wiv blood. What 'bout you?"  
  
"...Cake?" he replied.  
  
"Cake?!"  
  
"Ain't had cake in a while." said Ragetti defensively.  
  
"Why don't you just get a lovely dress to eat it in?" said Pintel sarcastically.  
  
"Can't afford no dresses."  
  
There was a pointed silence, which Ragetti spectacularly failed to notice.  
  
"'Ow much does a glass eye cost?" he said eventually.  
  
"Dunno. A pretty penny, I'd say. More than the likes of us can afford, anyhow."  
  
Ragetti nodded once and grimaced a little. His eye was itching again and he couldn't rub it while he was rowing.   
  
He watched Pintel out of his good eye. Pintel was his best friend, but occasionally he was nasty to him. As he said, Ragetti was definitely not of the thinking persuasion, and sometimes Pintel got annoyed with him. But he was glad they'd escaped from the brig of the Dauntless together.  
  
Now, in the middle of the sea, Ragetti wasn't worried, even though they'd been rowing for over a day without any food or water. He had a sunny nature and absolute trust in his friend. Pintel would know what to do.  
  
"Land! Look!" Pintel shouted, jumping up and hitting Ragetti on the shoulder till he turned round. He pushed his companion out of the way and took his place at the oars, rowing frantically.  
  
Ragetti beamed and giggled.   
  
They reached land about two hours later, and they pulled the boat far up on the beach. 


	2. Education, monkeys and sharpened frogs

Ragetti looked around. He grinned a little.  
  
"S'a beach, Pintel!"  
  
"I know it is!"  
  
"There'll be water! Look, there's a stream, it is water!"  
  
Ragetti fell to his knees by the stream and took a noisy slurp, immediately spitting it back out and coughing.  
  
"It's all salty!"  
  
Pintel sighed "Too near the sea, you wanna go further up."  
  
They moved further upstream and knelt down, drinking deeply. Ragetti looked up at Pintel with respect.  
  
"How d'you know these things?" he asked.  
  
"What fings?"  
  
"Things like, not drinkin' the water, down at the sea?"  
  
Pintel tapped his bald head. "Because I 'ad an education, I did."  
  
"Did you?" asked Ragetti.  
  
"I did my lad."  
  
"Oh. You never told me that." Ragetti grinned a mouthful of brown teeth. He rubbed water on his face, only succeeding in spreading the filth around and making his moustache more unruly than ever. There was a faint pop and his wooden eye parted company with its socket, landing in the stream.  
  
"Oh no! My eye, catch it, my eye!" he panicked, flailing around in the water with his hands. He just couldn't get a hold of it, and it began its journey towards the sea.  
  
"Hang on mate, I've got it!" Pintel cried as he plunged into the stream. He emerged coughing and spluttering a moment later, and in one hand clutched Ragetti's errant prosthetic.   
  
Ragetti snatched at the eye gratefully, shaking water out of the fork holes. He looked up to thank Pintel and burst out laughing at his sodden friend.  
  
"Shut up!" shouted Pintel and Ragetti stopped laughing abruptly.  
  
"Thanks Pintel." he said plaintively. "I dunno what I'd do without you."  
  
Pintel muttered angrily and stamped off into the forest. Ragetti wiped his eye on his filthy shirt, slotted it into place and hastened to catch up.  
  
They walked in silence through the trees for a while, Pintel steaily drying in the heat. After a while they both started to think about finding food. It was Ragetti who mentioned it first.  
  
"There anything to eat?" he asked.  
  
"How should I know?" came the grumpy reply.  
  
"I just thought, what with your education and everything, you might know what we could eat..."  
  
"For your information, I 'ave been keeping BOTH eyes open- "  
  
"There's no need for that!"   
  
"-AND I 'ave discerned that there are monkeys in this 'ere forest." Pintel continued. "Our only problem would be the catchin' of one."  
  
"We gonna eat monkey then?" said Ragetti.  
  
"S'meat, isn't it?"  
  
Ragetti nodded. " I could catch a monkey."  
  
Pintel looked at him witheringly. "And 'ow would you do that?"  
  
"Make poison darts." was the prompt reply. "From frogs..." This last sounded less certain.  
  
"Darts. From frogs."  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
"And where did you get that one from?"  
  
"Some bloke with a stupid haircut told me once. Said 'e'd been in the army."  
  
"And did 'e tell you just 'ow you're supposed to get a frog sharp enough to kill a monkey?"  
  
"...no Pintel. Sorry." Ragetti looked down.  
  
"Well. Since your advice seems to be lackin', we need a plan." said Pintel, looking up as a chittering form passed overhead.  
  
"We could throw stones-"  
  
"No more advice from you!"  
  
Silence for a moment. Then-  
  
"Go get some stones then."  
  
Ragetti rushed to obey. He came back with an armful and dumped them at his feet. Pintel picked up the largest. He drew back his hand and let it fly at the nearest monkey. It missed by quite a large margin. He swore and bent down to pick up another.  
  
Another, and another, and another, the monkeys evaded them all. Frustrated, Ragetti grabbed a stone of his own. Unfortunately, due to his complete lack of depth perception his missile hit a tree trunk and ricocheted off it, hitting him in the forehead. He fell backwards in a heap.  
  
Pintel looked down at him. "Bloody hell, mate."  
  
Several hours later, the pirates were sitting down to a meal of vaguely edible looking leaves. Ragetti chewed thoughtfully.  
  
"At least we can eat again."  
  
Pintel hit him. 


End file.
